Lost in a Time Shift

April 19, 2003 - 10:08 p.m.

Last Five Entries:
The Party's Over
July 11, 2004
The Next Day
2004-03-31
My Nervous Breakdown
2004-03-30
True Confessions: My Life as a Female Impersonator
March 15, 2004
Bite Me
February 29, 2004

Contact:

I just can't believe that I wasted my day today.

I got up at 11:00 a.m., which isn't as lazy as it sounds since I went to bed at about 3:00 a.m. I read an article that my mother left for me. It was an article about how evil anti-war activists are. This really isn't as passive-aggressive as it sounds. It means she wants to debate me about the war later tonight, which is fine because we are able to do that in a civil manner. (The rest of America can learn from us.)

I made coffee for myself, and played a computer game. I'm really not a computer nerd in the sense of playing a lot of computer games. I haven't bought a computer game in years. The one I played today was Starcraft (the original one, from 1999). I rediscovered it on my computer after watching the first day of bombing in Iraq. I decided that I couldn't deal with watching a real war, so instead I played a pretend war.

I played that for a while, made lunch, played some more, and suddenly it was 8:45 p.m.

How did that happen? I cursed myself for letting the day slip away and made myself dinner. Generally it would be alright to let a weekend day slip away to liesure activities.

Unfortunately, I have three papers due at the end of this month, and I don't have the research done for any of them. That's the problem. I can't afford to waste any day.

Sometimes I deal well with pressure. I apparently have a reputation at work for dealing well with pressure. That's why no one thought that springing a trial on me at the last minute was a big deal. Every other time that's happened, I dealt with it without a problem.

Internally, the stress eats at me. I think stress is largely responsible for all of my health problems. I didn't have colitis until I became a lawyer. I didn't have my constant cough until I tried practing law and going to graduate school at the same time.

And sometimes I don't deal well with pressure, which is why I became a vegetable today. Finishing all my work is so daunting, that I don't even dare try.

Or maybe I'm just so used to getting things done at the last minute, that procrastination is my unbreakable pattern.

It's probably a little bit of both.

Well, we'll see if reality hits me tomorrow and I actually get some work done.