This story is being interrupted because, well, it's a lie. Daily Me did not go out tonight. Daily Me hasn't gone out in months. He wouldn't even be aware that the sky is blue if there weren't pictures on the internet. He spends a lot of time not being social. Quite frankly, it's pathetic, and I can't blame his ego-ideal for making up some fanciful story about having fun.

Let's review the important statistics about Daily Me.

Last date with a woman: A year ago.

It was a first and last date between them.
They met through an internet personal ad.

Last sexual encounter with a woman: Three years ago.

It was part of a relationship that lasted too long, at one month.
They met through an internet personal ad.
The sexual encounter conincided with the onset of severe symptoms of uclerative colitis in Daily Me.

Last time in love: 11 years ago.

Last time love was reciprocated: 15 years ago.

Last kind word from a woman (in-person): Three months ago.

Last kind word from a single heterosexual woman: Unknown.

Last act of masturbation: 2 weeks ago.

It's usually not so long, but he's been under stress.

Last time cybersex served as a pathetic diversion from lack-of-intimacy issues: 2 days ago.

Note how the last two statistics compare.

His testosterone is requesting permission to move to a new home.

Hopefully, now that you know these facts, you can understand why he's lying his ass off to you, to vainly assert his manhood and impress you.

It may be best if you just nod and smile, and don't let on that you know he's full of it.

Now you are returned to his story.