More Dating Adventures With Me

November 13, 2003 - 4:28 p.m.

Last Five Entries:
The Party's Over
July 11, 2004
The Next Day
2004-03-31
My Nervous Breakdown
2004-03-30
True Confessions: My Life as a Female Impersonator
March 15, 2004
Bite Me
February 29, 2004

Contact:

I went out on a date Saturday. I know, two dates in one year, what is the world coming to?

I almost wrote about it on Saturday night, because I felt it was a much more positive experience than this one. But I didn't, and that works out since I now I have additional information to add.

This date came from using the online personals thing. On paper, it looked pretty good. She works for an environmental lobbying group, she's very smart, and has many of the same social justice interests than I have. Someone with whom I could actually have an intellectual conversation. She has very little time for dating- she keeps crazy hours working during the week, and has only weekends open. But in any event, I was looking forward to the date.

We went to a movie on Saturday. We met about an hour before the movie to have coffee and talk. (MOvie, coffee, and timetable all at her suggestion.) We had a very good conversation, just generally about her work, what I've been doing, things like that. I say it was a good conversation because I enjoyed it and it came easily. We were attentive to each other. We smiled at each other. We understood what the other was saying. We were both, if I can assess myself with assessing her at the same time, very interesting. I came away with the feeling that she was a likeable person, and with the impression that she thought that I'm a likeable person. Then we went to the movie (which is not an interaction time), and after that the date ended.

There was certainly no great spark, no love-at-first-sight moments. But the interaction part of the date was short, so there was no opportunity for such a spark anyway. But the important thing, I thought, was that it was enjoyable enough to be worth further exploration and getting to know each other better. And I've had these dates were it is absolutely clear that neither of us wants to see the other again after the date (like this one), but this one was much more positive.

Last night, I wrote her an e-mail (the only window to call her is on her cell phone at night when she's driving home from work, and I'm not going to be responsible for causing that crash). I just simply asked her if she wanted to get together for a few hours this weekend, perhaps to play pool (a shared interest).

Here is her reply. And from the outset, I do appreciate her honest reply. And I print it as is (except for deleting her name), because there is no better way to paraphrase it.

Thanks for meeting me for the movie, I am glad I got too see it. I am sorry, but I don't really feel a romantic connection was made. Since that is the reason that I signed up for the personnals, I hope you understand if I don't think we should go out again. Good luck with finishing you thesis, I hope your career change works out the way you hope.

So what was supposed to happen in an hour? I'm baffled. I invite any of my dear readers to fill me in on the point of social interaction that I'm missing- if I am missing one.